Strange little things they are, you can't get into them without cutting the strip with a pair of scissors, then you have to peel off the film to reveal the tiny capsule of chemo inside. This has to be done for each one. I have 5 tiny designer boxes, each with their fancy logo name and description of the strength and each containing 1 tablet. One small tablet in each box, you think I'm joking but I'm being serious here. What a waste of paper, ink and expense. How many cancer patients actually have one tablet. Especially as the information leaflet that has been carefully folded and placed neatly into each box explains that the mg is worked out by the body volume.
Half an hour later and I started to feel a weird queazyness come over me, which was followed immediately by the growl of my stomach. Spending the morning sat on the toilet with my head stuck over the sink isnt my idea of a good start to the new year or to my new chemo treatment. If I thought the diahrea was bad from the lapatinib and capecitabine well it was nothing compared to this. I know talking about diahrea isn't a nice thing to talk about and I thought with the amounts of talking and doing of it last year, it would be anough to last me a life time. What I couldn't believe is the quickness that it came on, even Lee said there was surely no way the chemo could work through my system so quickly. But the matter of factness about it is that it had. It had me runnin to the toilet and ready to puke just half an hour after the last tablet was swallowed. Now for those of you who already know me, sickness is something that I do not tolerate, it's at these rare occasions that the self pitying, feeling sorry for myself person comes to light. And so sitting on the Loo with with head over the sink I started to dwell on what my future held for me. Another shitty year (excuse the pun) just like I'd had with the capecitabine, then suddenly it dawned on me. 'oh crap' (ha ha excuse the pun again) I was supposed to take something before the chemo tablets. I was supposed to take a pre med of anti sickness half an hour before taking my bloody chemo. What a stupid dip shit. What a stupid friggin dip shit. Forgetting to pick up my house keys before leaving the house is dumb, losing my purse cos i'd put it in the fridge is even dumber, but to forget something as important as taking pre meds for chemo is the dumbest and stupidest thing ever .
Strange; but realising my idioticness, it has made me feel better about things. This chemo and this year is not going to be a repeat of last year. This sickiness and diahreah is not down to the treatment, it's down to me being stupid and lax again. (Haa pun again) My positiveness has come back and I'm prepared to bet that there is a good 99% possibility that everything is going to be hunky dory.
After taking some anti- nausea meds my stomach started to settle down. My wonderful husband, my sole mate, set about cleaning the house, he cleaned all the upstairs, all the way downstairs and then brought boxes into the living room and started to dismantle my Xmas Tree bit by bit, while I dictated which box each bauble or decoration went into.
With the Tree and Christmas decorations down and my house almost back to normal (boxes of decorations are still piled up at the bottom of the stairs) I fell asleep on the sofa only to wake up again when it was actually time to go to bed. Early night to bed at just 9pm and with a little help of a sleeping tablet I will be buzzing and full of life, ready for what ever tomorrow brings ...
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