Wednesday 4 January 2012

Day 2 Cycle 1

I so didn't want to get up out of my warm snugly bed this morning. I knew the time was 8am from the enoying sound coming from my iPhone alarm. Trying not to open my eyes too much I peeked at the window, I'd heard the rain and wind hammering hard against the window and the outside of the house but hadn't realised how bad it actually was. It was still pitch black. There's only one thing worse than getting up when it's cold and that is when it still looks like the middle of the night. Sneaking my hand out from underneath the duvet, I grabbed my phone and hit the snooze button.

Lee woke me next, reminding me that I needed to be up and after not stiring he commenced by getting the dogs all wound up. "mummy's awake" he kept repeating. Immediately Max had jumped on my head, digging frantically at the duvet to pull it away from my face so and licking me so much that I would surrender into stroking him. As soon as my arm stretched out towards Max's head it was greeting with the big wet slobbery kiss of Molly's huge tounge.  That was it, I was awake.

It was now 8.30 and Lee was up putting his dressing gown on and making his way downstairs. I laid there, waiting and listening for the simple click of the kettle being switched on. I wasn't disappointed either and I as soon as I heard it, the sound then went to mugs clinking together. Yeahhh I smiled as I once again snuggled under the duvet.

Sitting up in bed with a freshly made coffee is something just short of being in heaven, especially when the weather is as dreadful as it was. The only downside was the the coffee tasted bloody awful, my stomach was churning something terrible and each time I took a sip, I was holding back the gips that were developing.  Poor Lee, he goes out of his way to make me a coffee in bed and this is how I repay him, by sneakily pouring down the loo. 

I had my appointment with the Newleaf lady at my GP's. (ok ok, i'm trying to quit smoking). At my last appointment (first appointment) my carbon oxide reading was at 13 the number of a definate smoker. Up until last week I was good, having just the odd one as and when I really fancied one, but then the xmas partying took hold. Thankfully I was back to being good yesterday and had a total of 4 ciggies all day. The cravings arn't what I would call cravings, I think of having a cigarette and then think, no i cant have one, then immediately change the phrase to; I don't want one. Once this process is done I'm happy and then don't think about them again for quite some time, probably about 2 - 3 hrs later.

This morning I had the same routine of thought, cup of coffee goes along side a morning ciggie. Refraining I was hoping that I would get a food carbon oxide reading, not that I thought it would be make much difference and be much lower than the last time with all the Xmas smoking I had been doing. Surprisingly and so utterly shocked I watched the little digits go up and stop almost immediately. My level stopped at 3. A level that indicates a non smoker. (whoopeee doooo).  To hear this is an incuragment but the fact still remains is that I still look upon myself as a smoker and still am one unless I can give up these last couple of ciggies that I have a day.  During the appointment I started to feel a little queasy and wanted so much for it to hurry up and come to an end ( and no it wasn't because I lied about the ciggies). Luckily I was given another prescription of Champix along with an apointment for 2 wks time and I was free to go.

With that out of the way there was time for another cuppa before heading out to Lee's appointment at the physiotherapist. Again no ciggie (arn't I a good girl). But I did take a couple of anti-nausea tablets. I must remember to take them for the full day 1 and day 2 on the next dowse of my chemo pills, then hopefully I won't get this awfull sicky feeling. Lee's appointment took nearly an hour. I sat in the car and waited just across from the surgery building, playing solitaire on my iPhone. Half way through the first game I started to feel a little dizzy, only when I concentrated on the phone screen though. I'd taken the sicky tablets so either it was because they hadn't started working yet, or maybe it is a side effect of the chemo OR just plain and simple I NEED TO PUT MY GLASSES ON DIZZY.

I'm not sure if I'm still tired from the New Years Eve Partying or if it's the chemo tablets or even the anti-nausea tablets but I could sleep for England. After arriving back home from Lee's appointment and getting stuck into the biggest bacon and egg butty ever, I was fast asleep within half an hour, sprawled untidily over the sofa, still with my thick jumper and knitted shawl. I awoke tossing and turning, surprising myself that I managed to stay on the sofa in the process and not ending up in a big heap on the floor. My hair was wet through which was a pure sign of the central heating had now heated the house and having too many jumpers on. After stripping off and having this time a mug of hot chocolate I was back in the land of Zzzz's

It wasn't until 4pm that I surfaced again. So much for making the most of my life, living it to the fullest and all that crap. My life seems to be spent here on the sofa, indoors with the same four walls to stare at. Not that I wanted to go out today, the wind and rain was that strong I don't think I would have had the energy to stand up. I'm not moaning, far from it. You see this is only day 2 of the chemo cycle and so far all I've had is a bit of nausea and tiredness. I'm not even going to count the sudden attack of the shits I went through yesterday, becuase that was my own stupid fault. so it doesn't mean that I will experience it everytime I have the chemo. It's still early days and only time will tell how this chemo will effect me, but so far so good, I can tolerate how I am feeling right now, even long term, even if I need a little help of sicky pills, I look at it as a huge step forward from the last chemo tablet.

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